It was sometime in middle of the summer season that I decided to take a two week hiatus from writing-a little vacation, if you will. In early July I interviewed the lovely mamas and creators of Bitsy's Brain Food. I had hoped to have their post up and ready for September, just in time for the new school year where lunches were being packed and snacks put together in snazzy ways. Then, my computer died, the phone drowned and the blue skies summoned us out west for a quick getaway with family & with friend's. I was unplugged & life went on. Summer passed and autumn came, summoning Bebe Bird back into nursery school and I into the gym (because truthfully, I really want to wear my old jeans again…) As leaves fell, my little Bird grew. His jammies became shorter & his limbs longer. A Bebe he is not. He is teetering between two universes-toddlerhood & boyhood. A part of me wants to get down on my knees and cry out to the heavens "Nooo!" and the other part, the part I hope he sees, wants to celebrate this new independence, to give him the space he needs to discover his world with the joyeux de vivre. It was in the Autumn that he started requesting I stop picking him up and perhaps refrain from hugging or kissing him on the playground, especially if he is with his friends or big kids are nearby. Naps in our nest have also begun to depart, taking with it some of my sanity. Before I became a Mama, I used to think of myself as easy going and carefree. I loved the carefree part. None of it is true, however. Quite the contrary, most likely (especially if you were to ask Papa). It's funny sometimes how we think of ourselves as being one way. I am learning, since I've entered Mamahood, that I thrive on routine. I like to know what will happen next and to have a plan for my day's & week's ahead. I loved knowing that Bebe Bird would nap around 1pm, perhaps 2pm for a 2 hour stretch where I would settle into the leather couch at the local coffee shop sip on a cappuccino while writing. Strangers would come in and comment…"You're so lucky he sleeps for so long." or "I don't think, I've ever seen him awake." another girl often said to me & to her friends "Coffee will have the opposite affect on him when he grows up. It will put him to sleep rather than wake him up." And, oh, the local coffee shop! Our next door neighbor is the owner and Bebe Bird is on first name basis with him & all employees (old & new). When he would see the owner of our little establishment working in his garden in the backyard it is as if spotting a celebrity. "Look, there he is Mama!" he calls out "There he is!" Now, our nights are shorter & our Brooklyn neighborhood is greeted by darkness around 4:30pm. We are home. Dinner being prepared. Sleep in the evening has become a welcomed visitor since naps are not invited into our afternoons anymore. His big brown eyes grow heavy & are shut tight by 7:30pm not to awake until 7am. This part , the part where sleep isn't such a struggle anymore, is a awesome, yet, I often find myself falling asleep & joining him in his slumber as he requests I sit and hold his tiny soft hands. I remind myself that this time won't be forever. Now, we have entered into the holiday season where there are tree lightings and Santa sightings. We hope to use this time to deeper instill into Bebe Bird the importance of giving & gratitude. December also happens to be the month that celebrates the season of winter, December 21, winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. And, it will be during this time where winter will settle in & stay awhile when we will celebrate a new year of new adventures welcoming the changing of seasons that surely await us. #joy&courage.
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